Sean Astin is Missing! 

  What Astin might look like should he ever be rescued.

Actor Sean Astin, best known for his Academy Award-nominated performance in Encino Man, and currently appearing in the Nickelodeon animated series Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as the voice of the red one, has been reported missing after participating in a 10k race event in Boulder, CO. Local authorities are baffled.

“Mr. Astin mysteriously vanished after finishing the race event,” reported Wade Gorman of the Boulder County sheriff’s office. “After further investigation, we found he had not returned to his hotel, nor had he arrived at the airport, missing his return flight to Los Angeles for a second time.”

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Nebraska to Subsidize Coal Burning with Tax On Wind Farm Revenues

Wind farms threaten to destroy the economic livelihood of coal power; and Governor Ricketts has a plan to fix that for his state which has no significant coal industry! Image by Gareth Lovering Photography via Flickr.

Wind farms threaten to destroy the economic livelihood of coal power; and Governor Ricketts has a plan to fix that for his state which has no significant coal industry!
Image by Gareth Lovering Photography via Flickr.

LINCOLN, NE — As a follow up to his plan to purchase possibly (probably) stolen execution drugs from India and a veto of the legislature’s move to abolish the death penalty, Governor Pete Ricketts has announced a new package of fiscal incentives and punishments.  At the top of the list is a plan to place an additional tax on all revenue from wind-generated electricity which will be used to fund the construction of large pits in which to burn large amounts of coal.
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Johnny Depp to Reprise his ‘Jack Sparrow’ Role in New ‘Edwards Scissorhands’ Sequel


AMISSVILLE, VA — A trained koala bear acting as spokesman for reclusive goatee aficionado Johnny Depp recently delivered a tape-recording from its master to the press.  In it, Johnny Depp announces that he has once more agreed to reprise his iconic role as Captain Jack Sparrow from the Pirates of the Caribbean movie franchise.  This will be the sixth time that Mr. Depp has brought the Keith Richards-mocking role to life on the big screen, but this time he has promised to bring something new to the role.
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Netflix Offers Revolutionary New Service

It’s a fact: television is now on the Internet. And with more and more companies crowding the field in attempt to gain customers, industry leaders are trying to come up with new ways to stay ahead of the pack. 
“We wanted to look at what our customers weren’t already getting from us and what they can’t get from any of our competitors,” said Reed Hastings, CEO of Netflix. “And I think what we came up with is really exciting.”
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Cthulhu’s Corner: The Unnameable

They say pets resemble their owners, but I just don't see it.

They say pets resemble their owners, but I just don’t see it.

I haven’t really said anything yet, but about two weeks ago, I was talking to Arissa (for those of you not keeping score, she happens to be my regular barista at the Starbucks I frequent) and she kept going on about her cat. His name is Huxley and he’s a 2 year old grey tabby rescue who likes to lick Arissa’s face to wake her up. He’s fixed, had all his shots, and she likes to dress him up as an elf for her Christmas card photo every year. The idea of possessing a lower life form as a companion is somewhat lost on me. As I understand it, the creature (who is, as she described, “totes adorbs”) is not bound by any blood vows or sacrament, its will is not bound to her own; it simply lives in her loft and eats food that she buys for it. It seems rather upside-down to me.

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Make Your Meetings More Productive With These Simple Tips!

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of an interminable staff meeting?  Listening as your various coworkers figure out ways to spend 10-15 minutes a piece saying “I have nothing that needs to be brought to the attention of this entire group, but here’s a list of problems that I have which would better be worked out with individual stakeholders at some later date.”  Or perhaps you’ve spent an hour silently determining exactly how cold your lunch delivery is going to be as everyone takes turn hijacking relatively short conversations with “jokes” which only eat up time?  Well if so, TMS is here to solve your problems!  If you are the person making the derailing jokes/comments/pointless diatribes about the heat- we all know that the heat got turned off too early, Jerry, nobody needs to spend 20 minutes rehashing that, Jerry!- then you’re awful and you should stop.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Meet The Avengers

I hate mash-ups. Whatever it is about our internet culture that decided, somehow, that taking two great things and haphazardly slapping them together would somehow make them proportionately better was wrong. Horribly wrong. It almost every case, it’s worse. In the very best cases, it’s nominally amusing.

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