I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it. Some people are just so oblivious to how horrible they are and how their selfish actions affect other people.
Take Aslan, for instance: I went out of my way to be nice to the guy, get some coffee at his decrepit little coffee house, spend an excruciating night with his vapid writer friends, and get him in on the ground floor of my proposal to save the Old Abandoned Asbestos Factory at the Edge of Town, and he goes behind my back and submits his own proposal to the City Council! The nerve!
Now as I’ve mentioned before, I believe the Old Abandoned Asbestos Factory at the Edge of Town is an important part of our local history and that the colony of Shuggoth that inhabit it are an extremely rare and potentially endangered species and their habitat needs to be preserved, and my proposal deals with all of these issues. Its architectural history alone is cause enough to preserve the building in its current state. I have been working for months to convince the City Council that my plan is the most viable and proper course and I had them nearly all convinced when I brought my ideas to Aslan, the Lion of my betrayal. I truly—foolishly—believed that with him on my side I could finally sway that stubborn councilwoman Maria Ramirez, the final deciding vote to give me the simple majority and move my proposal forward. That is, until that traitorous, self-service glory hog Aslan betrayed me and brought his own proposal before the board just weeks before the vote.
Get this: First, he wants to turn the Old Abandoned Asbestos Factory at the Edge of Town into low-cost housing and artisanal shops while preserving the architectural significance by repurposing whatever salvageable materials are taken from the Old Abandoned Asbestos Factory at the Edge of Town. Then, he tried to convince everyone that there were numerous colonies of Shuggoth both on their native Pluto and off the coast of Rhode Island in a thinly veiled attempt to discredit my assertion that they are endangered. Additionally, he was able to find a group of filthy hippies who were more than willing to risk their sanity and their brains by moving the existing colony to the Rhode Island colonies for free. And he had the audacity to claim that his plan would cost the city less than half of my plan since all the Asbestos had already been removed from the Old Abandoned Asbestos Factory at the Edge of Town decades ago. He even tacked on a convoluted scheme that made the Council believe the housing and shops could help revitalize the waterfront district that had been suffering since the Old Abandoned Asbestos Factory at the Edge of Town became haunted by the Lost Children.
Anyway, I sent out an email to a paranormal group to try to demonstrate to the Council that the children’s spirits are happier now, trapped forever between this plane and the next, cursed to forever wander the vacant halls of the Old Abandoned Asbestos Factory at the Edge of Town. Then I’ll have to schedule a time to meet with councilwoman Ramirez and hope that I can still get her to support my proposal. It’s still a tight vote but I’m sure the Council will see my plan is best in the end and that Aslan is just trying to make me look bad. He’s been jealous of me ever since I blew his writing group away with a section of my novel, Dreams of R’lyeh. But that’s the last time I get embarrassed by a Lion.