Cthulhu’s Corner: I’ll Take the Refugees!

Cthulhu's CornerIf you’ve come here expecting to hear an update on my battle with the City Council over the fate of the Abandoned Asbestos Factory at the Edge of Town, I’m afraid I will leave you disappointed.    The entire matter is currently wrapped up in a serious legal hullabaloo and there is a gag order on all the disputants that is currently being enforced by the local PD and the Great Race of Yith.  It’s a whole thing.
Anyway, what I am actually here to discuss today is a matter of national politics and security rather than one of mere local interest.  That issue is the flood of refugees fleeing the violence in Syria and the fear-mongering currently being employed by the insane members of that eldritch horror-guild the GOP. Continue reading


Cthulhu’s Corner: Behold! The Dread Candidate!

Cthulhu's CornerMy recent involvement in local politics has afforded me the opportunity to pay attention to the ongoing campaign for Earth president.  It’s fascinating to me how tightly you silly mortals cling to the illusion of free will to a point where you actually believe you could elect a capable leader from among your own numbers. Continue reading

Cthulhu’s Corner: A Battle Between God-Like Machines and God-Like Outer Gods

Cthulhu's CornerSometimes even a Great Old One like myself gets bored and wanders the internet in search of entertainment.  Recently I cam across this bit of short fiction created in response to a question posted on the Reddit sub r/AskScienceFiction.  The question was how the hyper-advanced, AI-run society known as the Culture [from Iain M. Banks’ fantastic series of books] would handle an interaction with the Idiot God and Nuclear Chaos Azathoth– my own great grandthing.  Hopefully you enjoy it as much as I did.  It is republished here with permission of original author u/Mikeavelli. Continue reading

Cthulhu’s Corner: The Testimony of Unnameable Cat

Cthulhu's CornerAre cats normally inclined to narrative testimonials?  This is my first cat so I’m not entirely sure how they typically behave.  From what I understood they mostly spent their time sleeping or confounding humans (both of which are things that resonate with me).  But I’ve recently discovered that my own cat, who remains thoroughly Unnameable for some reason, has been keeping a journal.  I’m not even sure how he manages to write because he has neither thumbs nor prehensile tentacles.  I’m putting a translation (the original was written in some kind of rust-colored ink in the language of lost Lemuria) of one of his journals up on here mainly to ask you, my loyal followers, if this is normal cat literature or if I should take him (her?) back to Dr. Hofflemeister’s Veterinaria and Taxidermery. Continue reading

Cthulhu’s Corner: The City Council Out of Time

Cthulhu's CornerThe following is a partial transcript taken from the August 19th meeting of the City Council.  Among many other topics discussed was the plan to tear down the Abandoned Asbestos Factory at the Edge of Town.  The current proposal to demolish the Factory was opposed by Local Activist and Great Old One Cthulhu.

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Cthulhu’s Corner: Sharing is Caring

Cthulhu's CornerLast week I mentioned that I met Aslan, a fellow writer and coffee enthusiast, at the vet.  He seemed rather interested in my proposal for the Old Asbestos Factory at the Edge of Town, so I was certain we would hit it off.  I can’t say I’m as great a judge of character as I am everything else.

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Cthulhu’s Corner: The Shadow Over Innsmouth Beach

Cthulhu's CornerI realize that you all are terribly disappointed that I missed last week, but let me assure you that I am perfectly alright.  Certainly a glitch in the servers prevented my inbox from being inundated with thousands of your concerned emails, but I’ll count it as a blessing because as much as I’d like to, there isn’t any way I’d be able to delete them all in any reasonable amount of time considering how busy I’m about to be.

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Cthulhu’s Corner: On the Dubious ‘Honor’ of Having a Chunk of Pluto Named After Me

I'm not one to brag, but at least mine is bigger, Tolkien.

I’m not one to brag, but at least mine is bigger, Tolkien.

Mankind has spent the past week clapping itself on its collective, metaphorical back for their ability to lob a piano-sized apparatus of metal and plastics a few measly billion miles across its lone solar system and getting a few snapshots of Pluto- by which I mean Yuggoth.  In an obvious bit of appeasement, the “scientists” at NASA quickly named one of the blurry features of this remote ice-ball ‘Cthulhu’.  I suppose I am expected to feel flattered by this and forswear devouring their sanity when the stars are once again aright?  Well I think not, sir!

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Cthulhu’s Corner: A Week in the Abyss

Cthulhu's CornerOK I have to let myself off the hook a bit; this has been an awful week.  First of all, one of the bozos who runs this little ship (The Monthly Spew, and I had thus far managed to get by without mentioning it by name) thought this week would be a fabulous time to head out to Virginia Beach and get some sun. I’m all for spending more time in the ocean, but I took this editorship with the understanding that each would be pulling their own weight, and it has been increasingly difficult to manage my time to complete my masterwork, Dreams of R’lyeh.  Not only do I require a minimum– minimum—of 15 hours of slumber, but I have to find time to hit the clubs and unwind.  That’s my me time and its essential to my creativity and productivity.

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